Christmas is here and i keep wondering what can i do this year that will make a difference for me.
should i buy me a new dress? new shoes ? or simply stay at home and cook a christmas dinner for the people i love.. Well i may do all of those, but then it will not make so much of a difference than it was for me last year or the year before. Nothing is new!

A few weeks ago, at one of the Advent Christmas i attended( of many numerous i attended this year) i remember the Preacher talking about how one can spend Christmas : and with whom.

"You can spend christmas as you wish, there is no hard and fast rule about it. You can do exactly the same thing that you've done last year, and the year before. But if you've never done it: why not spend Christmas with some body you've never spent with, somebody not from your close inner group"

Christmas to me as a tradition means going to Church, spending time with family and friends , and people from your own community and Church members; never with an outside group or to be more precise: people outside your own Ethnic community.

We look forward to Christmas as a time of Spending time together with family and love ones, singing Christmas hymns and doing all the lovely things that i wasn't able to do throughout the year: a time of holidaying and relaxing not to mention all the awesome gifts and presents to enjoy.
But how often do we care or take the time to remember those that cannot Share this precious moments with their love ones, or the people who never really knew what Christmas actually means.

Will i be able to cross that barrier and forsake the lovely time( i assume) i look forward to? But then there's really no question of contemplation , is it? One has to just take the step and plunge into it. I Dont know why i thought this could be something really difficult? What do i dread so much of something i haven't really known? is it selfishness or apathy: or something borne in my brainwashed mind?

A letter

My darling sister,

From the moment I saw you first

I knew there was something special

I vowed I will cherish you

Protect you from all harm

I promised to take care of you

But now that you are all grown up

I barely have a thing to say

Only this that I trust in you

Believe you and love you

I want your future to be bright

I want you to enjoy life

I want that you love me too

For what I am

I will do anything for you

Hold your hand when you cry

Listen when your heart’s breaking

You can tell me anything

Coz I’m older I will be there

You can trust in me

When all other things cease

Forgive me if I have let you down

And driven away all your dreams

I didn’t mean to be in your way

All that I had, I wanted for you

To have

I wish that things changes

That you were first and I were last

We will have different story then

I am sorry I miss your birthday

Yet all that I wish for you

You already had them

You got humors and talents

And a big heart to love and forgive

What else can we wish for….?

But for all that life has to give

Remember we chose our own destiny

Plan our own future

Each step we take brings us closer

To the dreams we are weaving

And when things appear gloomy

And life’s become too low

Kneel down and pray

Despair not, trust in god

And we have each others

I will be there for you

For always and more

I want to see you smile

I love you

Affectionately

Your sister

Elizabeth

JNU, New Delhi

Sweet Darlings

It appears the stars fell down from heaven

And fairies came with blessings

The night she was born:

There were fireworks and dancing,

Laughter echoed throughout the house

And no words compared the tears of joy

A golden girl is born

And her mama looks on and thought

‘Will it be sunshine throughout, or will the stars fade from the skies?

Will she have all she desires, or be driven to choose things she didn’t understand?

Will things change for her girl or the same fate she herself endures?’

Smoke appears and the garbage reeks

None came bearing gifts,

The night she was born;

There was no firework nor dancing

Only her mother’s painful scream

And few people shedding tears

No words allowed to be spoken

A little girl is born.

And her mama looks on and thought

‘Will there be no sunshine ever, and stars never appear again?

Will she be driven to choose things she didn’t understand, or

Have things that she desire’

Will things change for her little girl, or the same fate she herself endures?

Years roll by and the girls grew up

People call them fortunate to be born

Sunshine appears yet never for long;

Stars faded before they could catch,

Some desires they stood to gain,

But most things they never really understood,

Taught to obey rules of society

And the girls thought,

‘Why can’t it be that things change for me?

Must it be that I catches glimpses of everything, yet never held them in my hands?

Why do I feel they bestowed gifts grudgingly, make me believe in everything,

set my dreams for me yet never let me question,

Does my mama face all of these and her mama before her?’